This Hotwife is Finally Ready to Play!

We've had some really busy times the past few months.  Visits from family that want to come to our wonderful climate (when it's snowy and cold for them back home), an ever-increasing activity list for the girls and And's continuing busy travel schedule.  In addition to this, I decided to go back to work - now that the girls are getting older - and that has been both challenging and frustrating.  I told And a couple months back, sometimes I feel like the single parent...he is gone much during the week.  Now I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.  This hotwife has been so busy...and not!

I have tried to stay on top of our Kasidie.com community.  For those that haven't followed us quite as long as others, we host a community called "MFM, Hotwives and Hotwife Lovers",  We now have almost 600 members that are part of that community.  It's one of the most popular on Kasidie and it is even limited to Certified, Elite Members (so if you decide to join, get certified and put some discreet hotwife photos up and join us).  That tells you the enjoyment of the hotwife fantasy within the open-minded lifestyle of an adult personals website!

What has been lacking, besides my opportunity to journal on our blog, is the personal experiences of BEING a hotwife!  Our schedules haven't allowed us to attend parties or even find time to seek out new adventures.  Well, we have had a couple of experiences in the past few months with some of our previous make friends.  But, we've not been as active on AFF (my favorite site to find new men) lately and we've not 'picked up' a guy in a long time.

All this said, there is something about summer that puts me in the mood for some mFm fun.  I don't know if it's the warmer weather, the freedom the girls being out of school (and hopefully visiting the 'grands' some this summer) or what that has led to this increasing urge to play. So, I am going to actively pursue some new adventures and experiences. So here is my hotwife fantasy bucket list for this summer:

- Have sex with And at my office.

- Have vacation sex with a stranger (okay, I've done this before but want to experience it again)

- Have an encounter with another couple...bi-curious female please.

- Experience more in the BDSM area.  Specifically, I want to be on display at a swing club.

- Have 'unprotected' sex with someone other than my husband (done this but want it again)

- Have a group experience...perhaps a group of men...I hate the term but...gang bang.

I know that's quite the bucket list.  I know there might be some out there reading that might be newer to our blog that are saying...OMG.  If so, I'd encourage you to start at the beginning of our journey to really understand...I didn't get to that bucket list overnight.  We've been talking about having these experiences for a number of years now.  We didn't take any 'steps' lightly.  We dipped our toes A LOT before we have become this comfortable about where we are today.  So don't get discouraged or think, this blog is not for me.  Read way back when we started and go forward and you'll see what I mean.

As for me, I am off to shop in a tight little top (with as much cleavage as I dare), a pair of skinny jeans and my hotwife anklet and toe ring on.  Enjoy the nice weather.  It's going to be a hot summer!

Ankle Bracelet Equal Hotwife??

A number of years back, Ankle bracelets were all the rage. But, it seems, I notice fewer women wearing them these days.  I recently wondered if perhaps more people have became aware of the significance or if it was simply a fashion change.  Obviously every woman who wears an anklet isn't aware of the connotation.  But wearing an anklet is always sexy.  I've worn mine for a number of years and love the feeling of what it means as it touches my foot.

So, do more women these days wear ankle bracelets to represent their freedom? Perhaps. Some do.   I've seen a couple women out and thought, "She's most definitely a hot wife."  But is it safe to assume a woman wearing one is, in fact, a hotwife.  Definitely not.

I was wearing one of my ankle  bracelets out a couple weeks back and noticed a number of interesting looks.  Perhaps I was just feeling a little self-conscious but I wondered...how common is the knowledge that a woman wears an ankle bracelet to signify she is a hotwife.

While I don't think it's a good idea to assume anything- especially a woman wearing an anklet is a hotwife - it definitely is a conversation starter.  I've had a number of men that, I am quite sure, knew and opened conversation because of my anklet display.   If nothing else, it is a good way to flirt.  It could be as simple as saying, "Beautiful ankle bracelet.  Where did you get it?" If she seems open to talking, you might eventually find an opening for a statement like, "You know, a friend once told me that wearing an anklet on your right foot means you are available."  She may be unaware that the "hotwife" sexual subculture exists. Bold? Perhaps. But you'll probably know right away whether it has intention and you've certainly not said anything too damning.  The worst she could say is "I'm married and not available." (and perhaps stop talking to you LOL). But she could also say "what do you mean...available?"

If you are into the hotwife lifestyle (or want to be the subject of flirtatious attention), wearing an anklet on your right ankle will be one of many potential signs that lets others know you might be available.  If you want everyone to know that you are a HotWife, I thinks it's an important symbolism to wear an anklet. I've also heard - and employed the idea - that the combination of a toe ring and an anklet, on the same foot, separates those that are simply wearing it as 'unaware' jewelry and those that are hotwives.  If you are a hotwife (or want to explore the idea of becoming one), you can get certain 'subtle' charms for your anklet that signify you are a available. These subtle charms might only have significance to you and your significant other.  That inside knowledge can lead to a steamy after-party- even if it is just between the two of you.

You can take it a step further and find one that more overtly advertises what you are looking. If you want to come right out and say it, you can even get an anklet that has "HOT WIFE" or "MFM" engraved on it.  You can also get one that has a "Q" and a black Spade (Queen of Spades) to designate that you are a Hotwife that is looking for black men. One of my favorites, since And and I have started to explore BDSM more (oh, and I am clearly a 'switch' LOL) is a lock and key charm.   There are many others (as well as toe rings) available at one of my favorite online stores, Nipple Charms.

Happy hotwife New Year

After a break for the holidays, we are back, ready for another exciting year of hotwife and swinging fun.  We hope you missed us :)

We just hopped on Kasidie and responded to many emails from our wonderful readers and saw that a number of you had signed up for free, trial memberships while we were away.  It saddened us a bit to see that a lot of these sign ups had already expired without any hello to us there.

As many of you know, we also host a 'community' on Kasidie titled MFM, Hotwives and Hotwife Lovers.  We had a lot of new 'adds' pending to this community and we took some time to 'accept' these new friends.  We are now up to 440 members that are a part of our group.  It's really been a great way for us to meet like-minded couples and single men (we've even a few single females looking for a guy that will allow her to play as a 'hot wife/girlfriend') and discuss various aspects, challenges and adventure of a hotwife relationship.  So, if you've interest in seeing more, click on over to Kasidie and join the fun.

For those of you new to our blog, welcome!  As we do at the start of a new year, we will tell you that it might be best to start at the very beginning of this blog from many years ago.  We promise, we've probably experienced many of the questions, concerns and curiosities you may be experiencing and -we hope - our blog might be insightful and helpful in your own hotwife journey.

Better get going for now. We are heading to a sexy dinner with another couple tonight.  They are someone we've known for some time, 'vanilla', and very hot.  They've been quite curious, asking us more questions recently and talking to us with greater frequency.  I must confess, I am hopeful the newfound curiosity might lead to something....more.

Happy New Year!
Rach

I Want a Hotwife

Many men (and sometimes women) who are interested in getting into the hotwife lifestyle seek our advice for introducing their partner into the lifestyle. While an MFM experience is a wonderful extracurricular activity and the allure of seeing her with another man can be exhilarating, you must proceed with extreme caution. These rules apply to couples seeking other couples too...something we've decided to partake in (on occasion, though, we still prefer mFm encounters).

1) Don't Push

This is a dangerous approach to exploring the hotwife lifestyle...knowing that your partner may not be up to it quite yet. Do not push your partner into doing anything she or he (I dislike that everyone always seems to write 'he' before 'she' LOL) is not totally comfortable doing. This will only cause problems in your relationship.

If you wish to get her interested, we always say, start by sitting down and talking to her about your hotwife fantasy. Show her a adult personals website like Adultfriendfinder or, perhaps, a website of a local swing club. You might suggest to her that you can start on a couples dating site, like Kasidie, and see what happens. If she shows interest, you are off to a great start...but take it very slowly. If she shows no interest, back off and allow her to process what you've just asked. You can't expect her to go right from posting an ad to meeting a guy for an mFm. Ask her to spend some time online looking at profiles or asking if, perhaps, she would like to go to a club just to watch sometime. Take small steps and don't push to hard too fast. That leads us to point number two.

2) Take It Slow

As excited as you may be about her interest in becoming a hotwife, it is best to step back and ascertain the best way for you both to enter the lifestyle comfortably. Your partner may require extensive time and exposure to feel at ease with this idea. Shed may question your motive. She may ask herself "am I not enough?" "does he just want to sleep with other women?" Remember, many people hold misconceptions about what being a hotwife means and she or he may need this time and experience to help clear up misunderstandings. Communicate!

If you do both show interest in taking it further than online exploration, try attending a pressure-free event, such as a 'meet and greet' or a 'theme party'. Make it clear that neither of you are planning to do anything more than watch the fun and be together. This way, your experience will be much less intimidating and she'll feel closer to you. If you take it slow, she just might be inclined to explore further. If all goes well the first time, try letting her decide which event and when she might like to try the next time.

3) Dispel your partner’s preconceptions ideas.

Your partner may warm up to the lifestyle a bit more if she enjoys viewing profiles of single guys with you, or attends a party with you at her side. She may find the closeness exciting and it may ignite your relationship. She may find the atmosphere of a swing club, the company attending and the attention she gets is exciting and realize that the stereotypes surrounding the lifestyle are often contrived. Attending a lifestyle event serves many purposes for first-timers or those who are otherwise timid of the initial experience. By doing so, she will be able to see, firsthand, the wonderful people that are involved in this. She will understand that many of these men are not depraved sexual predators, devoid of morals or socially inappropriate. Many who attend a lifestyle event see that these are just regular people like you...letting loose.

4) Do not expect too much too soon.

If you both opt to meet a single guy for a beverage or venture out to a function for the first time, don’t expect your significant other to do anything with anybody. Do not even allude to the possibility of such activity. The experience - in and of itself - will be a sensory overload without one’s partner expressing desire for action. Allow yourselves to take it all in and then discuss the experience after. If this is done the right way, she or he may want more. After all, this was the initial goal. To remain open to the possibility. Don't ruin it expecting too much too soon.

5) If your partner is not interested, show respect for that choice.

If your mate expresses that she or he is just not interested in experiencing a hotwife encounter, leave it at that. Tell her or him that if they would like to entertain the possibility, they can bring it up when they're ready. Remember point #1...Do not push! It will only make her or him feel insecure and lead to wonder why you want to do this so badly. Women are typically the more delicate creatures and tend to analyze men's motives. Communicate.

A special not for the guys: The best way to make her feel secure in entering the hotwife lifestyle is to reassure her that you love her, that she's beautiful, and that you are doing this - not to find something better but - to enhance your already wonderful love life. If she doesn't hear this reassurance regularly, she will most likely assume that she just isn't enough for you, and that is why you feel the desire to invite others in to your relationship.

It is perfectly healthy for one or both of you to determine that your relationship is not quite ready to handle any extracurricular activity yet. Ladies, the same goes for you if you are trying to involve your partner in this. Remember that even if the lifestyle is not in your future, you still have each other...and the fantasy of it may just be enough.

Halloween - A Great Hotwife Opportunity

This time of year gets me pretty excited.  I've always loved this time of year...fall is in the air!  I love the earlier darker days, the weather getting cooler and, of course, Halloween!  Ever since I was a little girl - dressing up in costumes, trick-or-treating with my siblings and drinking warm, interesting things, Halloween has always been special.  I guess, in my adult life, I've not lost the fun of dressing up as a hot wife/ cat girl, putting on some bondage gear and going as a Dominatrix, getting special treats or showing my MILF 'tricks' and drinking fun, interesting concoctions!

We always try to attend a hot, sexy Halloween party. It's quite the erotic experience and the perfect time to introduce sexy new ideas into your relationship.  Dressing up as a sexual creature like a naughty witch, leather clad superhero or something a bit more 'out there' (my favorite, last year was guy that dressed like an appliance plug and his wife as a wall receptacle!), it's a great time to get your party on, have some fun and add some spice.  It's also a great time to go incognito, flirt with strange men (if you are thinking about or have experience as a hotwife) and see what might happen!

We always enjoy an 'erotic ball' or two at our local or visiting swing club.  This year, we are super excited to be attending an erotic ball away from home.  According to our friends that are in the area, it is the bestest!  It's upstairs at a strip club, has a lot of entertaining acts of fire breathers, sexy pole dancers and very sexy people walking around.  Best of all, it's marketed to both 'lifestylers' as well as mainstream halloween partygoers. So it should be a lot of fun.

If you are thinking about introducing - or expanding upon - the hotwife fantasy, Halloween is a great time to simply be a voyeur...or a great time to for a Hotwife opportunity!

Date Ideas - Introducing the Hot Wife

We posted, some time back, some ideas on how a man can encourage his Significant Other to explore the hotwife fantasy. Here are some 'date' ideas that one could use. Of course, these could easily be 'flipped'. But, we tend to get this question more from men than women so excuse the gender bias

Have you ever played with a camera? A game of 'erotic photographer' or 'Playboy Playmate' might be fun. Some women aren't confident about their appearance and don't want you taking photographs of them. Some really get into it. Buy her some sexy lingerie and plan a photography session. Consistently encourage her about how beautiful she looks. At some point, when you sense she is really into it, you could simply make the comment: "What we need is someone here to take some photos of us." From there, the possibilities are endless in adding a "third" to your ensuing love-making session that is sure to follow.

One thing to explore the hotwife fantasy - that couples can do in the beginning - is to find a man, or men, you can trust to flirt with her. Trusting the man, simply means that you are sure that he is going to work with you towards your goals within your limits. The man you choose should realize there are no guarantees for anything. Many men would simply like to flirt with a married woman, just to see what happens... especially if he knows the husband is okay with it. Rather than going to Craigslist, with all the cheap, flakey thrill-seekers, go to an adult personals website like Adultfriendfinder. Sign up for a short term, premium membership. This will allow you to look at the full profiles, photos and 'testimonials'. Look for someone with experience and feedback from other real couples, look for a well written profile that expresses respect, and definitely look for someone that she might find attractive!

Another thing men can do - although it is questionable among some that share the hotwife fantasy - is for the husband to have a man flirt with his wife prior to her knowledge of setting up a meeting (but preferably after you've expressed your desires to see her with another). This is sometimes done to help see how she would react or to help boost her confidence (perhaps, she is a more 'reserved' woman or expresses concern over your reaction). The ultimate goal of hotwife sharing is to open up a good communication between the husband and wife. Just be careful how far you take this, unless she is aware and definitely pick someone trustworthy that understands this is simply a flirtatious meeting and will go NO further.

Another idea, that we explored a few years ago, was to go to a hip dance club. Since there always seems to be an abundant supply of single men, encourage her to take a 'hot lap'. Tell her to 'pick out' the most attractive guy she finds at the bar. Dance with your MILF and look for the guy in question. Perhaps you could encourage her to take another lap and flirt with her (a drink or two might help her courage). This is a fun way to quietly and discreetly 'play' with the idea. After you go home, you can place the 'secret stud' into your love making session. Perhaps it would turn her on to think of what he might do to her. Of course, it's just the two of you....and this safe (and sensual) environment, might encourage her to open her thoughts a bit more!

Those are just a few of the ideas we've presented in the past. Look through our blog postings and you'll see a number of scenarios we've shared and fantasized on that might help you with your hot wife date!

Modern Love - Hotwife Article

KoupleinLove recently posted a comment to our blog that many of you may not have seen. So, I wanted to include a link to it. It is a well written confession article, entitled You May call it Cheating, but We Don't from a hotwife that appeared in the New York Times.

I was particularly drawn to this paragraph:

"Because of this, my husband has at times fretted that I might leave him. What should he do with that anxiety? Maybe eroticizing it isn’t the worst strategy, especially if it gets us talking about what turns us on and keeps us in the loop about each other’s lives. Surely it’s better than the more mainstream reactions to jealousy: becoming paranoid or controlling."

Our society tends to put a myoptic view that our partner is chattel. They are 'owned' by us and any sexual attraction they have for another is a unfathomable disrespect and infidelity of their sacred 'bond' to us. Yet, all but the most sanctimonious of us would admit there have been times in our lives where we've been attracted to another and had thoughts of acting upon that.

Being a hotwife, I now have the freedom to express myself openly and act upon those desires while respecting the relationship we share. My communication with my husband has increased a hundred-fold, our relationship has only grown in trust, confidence and respect. We've a shared interest in this life....something that is key to having the most intimate of relationships....and in so expressing this and living it, our relationship grows to heights that don't require chains or other forms of slavery. We openly express our love, yet understand that - as human beings, we have desires. We choose to remove those from 'the closet' and share them with each other.

One other paragraph from the article rang very true with this 'experienced' hotwife:

"The main thing that helped me...was realizing that attraction to other people isn’t necessarily a sign your marriage is bankrupt. In the course of being together forever, especially if you’re out in the world meeting new people, it happens. One of the challenges in a marriage, in addition to deciding whose job it is to do the dishes and how to balance the budget, is to figure out how to deal with lust or love for other people.

I lust for other men. If you are alive, you probably have (or do) as well. If you decide to 'dip your toes in the water', read our journey from the start and how we turned this hotwife fantasy into something more. I think you'll find some common thoughts and, perhaps, it will open your mind to taking that 'next step'.

Lest anyone think differently, I can confidently tell you that I love my husband...more with each day on this earth we are blessed to share together. I am a hotwife...and being one has not taken an ounce away from our relationship. In fact, I can confidently say, it has added to it magnificently.