The hotwife perspective from a lover of wives Part 1

Sorry we've been away for a couple weeks. Life keeps us busy, ya know? LOL

We receive quite a bit of email from friends of our blog. One of the people we've been communicating with is a man that, I think it is safe to say, is a lover of other men's wives. We've had some conversations with him about what it is that motivates or causes a single guy to explore having a relationship with a couple. Primarily, and naturally, the focus of his reasons are on the woman in the relationship - something I think is central to the theme of having a hot wife. It's all about her.

He attempts to explain to us some of the main motives that he has felt when having sex with a married woman while her husband was either watching or participating. Originally, I know that he wanted to elaborate on this topic and write a small article for us to print. However, like us, life has been busy and he has not found the time to expand. So, here, over the next few postings, is a short list of what intrigues him about having sex with a hotwife.

I really admire women that are sexually liberal - women that think outside of the box when it comes to sex. This is a healthy and friendly admiration. It excites me and ultimately fuels my desire to experience sex with such a woman. Openly accepting some form of non-monogamy is not mainstream. So, when a woman openly accepts it, it shows that she is willing to explore her sexuality and human sexuality in general.

When I say openly, I don't necessarily mean "with everyone's knowledge" but certainly with the knowledge and consent of her partner. From what I have read in the book The Monogamy Myth and books by Helen Fisher like Why We Love, humans are socially monogamous but not sexually monogamous. Being sexually monogamous is simply part of most modern cultures. So, when a woman is interested in exploring some form of non-monogamy - be it as a hotwife, in a swinging encounter or in a polyamorous relationship - I feel an interest in talking to her and understanding her more. I feel a desire to experience sex with her. Basically, women that are into these forms of consensual, non-monogamous sex turn me on. This was not always apparent to me, but I do believe that it has always been a motivating factor for me.

Just as I have an interest in women that are non-monogamous, I have an interest in friendship with couples that are sexually open-minded. Basically, even just talking and visiting with such a couple is exciting to me, even if things do not lead to sex.

Both of these first two reasons are reasons that have become apparent to me much more recently. They were not reasons that I fully comprehended early on in my experiences.

Initially, I was simply aware that I was sexually excited by the idea of having sex with an "older woman". I have wanted to experience this "cougar" experience since I was a high school student. So, to me, a woman in her thirties or forties was always someone that had a mysterious draw. It was certainly a motivating factor for me during my first few experiences. I still see women older than 30 as being sexually mature, experienced and in touch with their bodies. Simply put, to me they are quite beautiful and sexy in many, many ways beyond the pure physical.

Have an opinion or want to share a view point about what makes a single man want to be involved with a committed couple? Or perhaps you are a husband or boyfriend of a love that you'd like to see with another man. Maybe you are a committed couple that is looking to experience a second male in your relationship. Whatever your perspective, we'd love to hear your comments. It helps us all learn more about ourselves and what makes us desire a hotwife relationship so much!