Answer to a not so recent hotwife comment

I just saw this comment from a few posts back. Not sure how I missed it but rather than post the comment in response to the comment, I thought it was much more appropriate to put it up here. Here is the original comment:

I personally find your writings very enlightening. My husband and I are dabbling a bit in the alternative lifestyle and his fantasy is not unsimilar to what the two of you have going. There is a slight difference, however - he wants me to be with exclusively black men.

So far, we have not had MFM as hubby prefers to video or take pictures of the encounter. In addition, there have been a few occassions where I have agreed to go off and play (at hubby's insistence) and take pictures and come back home and tell him all about it.

Obviously by now you can tell that I am the wife writing to you and I do have a question for you. My husband seems to focus a lot more on this than I do and most encounters are at his (for lack of a better word) nagging. I do enjoy each encounter, however most likely would not have considered this on my own. We have been married for 19 years and I am 9 years younger than hubby. So tell me, is this a big part of both your lives, a take it or leave it situation, or does one of you enjoy the lifestyle more than the other?

First, thank you Sexy wife in Ga. I have enjoyed reading your blog and I am going to add it to our list of preferred reading right after I get done with this response!

At first, I will freely admit that it was more his fantasy than mine. As you may have read in our earlier writings, I initially thought he wanted this of me so he'd have an excuse to have another woman. However, as we talked about it more, I realized that he really - exclusively - wanted this because it was his fantasy to see me with another man. It was, I think, a combination of him seeing me and having me experience something that would expand our sexual experiences together.

As we moved closer from fantasy to reality, I think it quickly became something we both really were looking forward to experiencing. I was nervous, for sure, and I did have doubts and "pulled back" at times. But still, the fantasy grew in me as well. We never had the stereotypical thoughts of a "black stud" or the thoughts of a cuckhold. Rather, we saw it as someone like us, white (I suppose - although not consciously), educated, upper-middle, surburban, fit, good-looking. It was a fantasy that grew in me the more we played with the idea in public and in private.

I remember wondering what it would be like to have another man kiss me, touch me and have sex with while And watched or participated. It became a really hot thought to have two men fully focused on me. That thought alone was good for quite a number of solo sessions with my toys...LOL...and many sexy times during our intimate evenings together.

Now that we've shared that experience a number of times, albeit with only two men (not at the same time! LOL) to date, it has become something that we truly share together. I can't stress enough the idea that you have to find someone that you are comfortable with and that makes you feel comfortable. Both our lovers are just that, in different ways for sure, but they are very nice men, good-looking, respectful of our relationship and understand their role.

Is it a BIG part of our lives? No, it is not the biggest part. The part that we share - just the two of us - or even more so, our family is the biggest part of our lives. Is is something that without we would be empty? Far from it. I am sure we would have a happy marriage regardless of this play. But, I can say, it certain it makes the hotter times even hotter. It's something I think that, with the proper communication, trust and respect and love of your husband, you will certainly come to enjoy and desire as much, if not more, than he.