Swinging or a hotwife?

We received the following email recently from someone that had not obviously read all of our blog...(saddened by that). It appears that perhaps he also contacted Jay and Joy (if you want to read their answer it is over on their blog at http://joyshared2.blogspot.com/2008/07/questions-and-answers-july-08-edition.html

Still, I wanted to post the question here only because they were a very attractive couple from the photo. Thinking about all the wonderful couples out there and the questions you have, we didn't want to discount it and not answer.

The question was I was researching swinging on the net and am not sure if this is for us? How does it impact your relationship? My wife and I are considering trying this but are not sure yet. Would you mind telling me some good and bad things about it?

Our response was:

As you may have noticed reading our blog, we are not into "swinging". While some may classify it as that, we prefer to limit our activities to encounters that she has with other men and me. If you read our blog, you will also see that it has had a tremendously positive impact on our relationship.

The good thing is that she becomes sexually liberated. She feels sexy, thinks more sexy and certainly dresses and works out to remain sexy. Confidence in her appearance and her ability to turn men's heads is a real positive, she would say. For me, it is the ultimate in desires to see her engaged in intimate encounters with other men. She, to me, is the most beautiful woman in the whole world. What better porn to watch than your own spouse having mind blowing orgasms and in the throws of ecstasy. It has enhanced our relationship.

The bad? I can't think of any for us. Communication, openness, honesty is the key. If you don't have it, get it first. Other than that, you want to be very selective and get to know the people you play with outside the bedroom before inviting them into it! I can see where some, jumping head first, would not take the time to ensure that there is the proper amount of chemistry, build up and, ultimately, respect. Just as you would your wife, choose who you play with very carefully and feel completely comfortable before taking the leap.

Perhaps the best advice is take it slow. You are both attractive, from the photo we saw, so you'll have no problem attracting interested people. But, do they take it at your pace or they all about meeting and getting it going. Maybe you can go out and flirt with other couples, if you have an adult-oriented nightclub (notice I didn't say a strip club). Go where sexy people hang out. Have some fun. Leave her alone at the bar until someone comes along to hit on her (which wouldn't be long I dare say, given how good she looks!). Come back and strike up a conversation. Stop there. Go home, talk about how that felt. Enjoy the intimacy such revelation of thought can bring. If you are comfortable, take the next baby step forward. If not, retreat and talk things thru until you are!

Hope this helps!
And (and Rach)