Answer to a not so recent hotwife comment

I just saw this comment from a few posts back. Not sure how I missed it but rather than post the comment in response to the comment, I thought it was much more appropriate to put it up here. Here is the original comment:

I personally find your writings very enlightening. My husband and I are dabbling a bit in the alternative lifestyle and his fantasy is not unsimilar to what the two of you have going. There is a slight difference, however - he wants me to be with exclusively black men.

So far, we have not had MFM as hubby prefers to video or take pictures of the encounter. In addition, there have been a few occassions where I have agreed to go off and play (at hubby's insistence) and take pictures and come back home and tell him all about it.

Obviously by now you can tell that I am the wife writing to you and I do have a question for you. My husband seems to focus a lot more on this than I do and most encounters are at his (for lack of a better word) nagging. I do enjoy each encounter, however most likely would not have considered this on my own. We have been married for 19 years and I am 9 years younger than hubby. So tell me, is this a big part of both your lives, a take it or leave it situation, or does one of you enjoy the lifestyle more than the other?

First, thank you Sexy wife in Ga. I have enjoyed reading your blog and I am going to add it to our list of preferred reading right after I get done with this response!

At first, I will freely admit that it was more his fantasy than mine. As you may have read in our earlier writings, I initially thought he wanted this of me so he'd have an excuse to have another woman. However, as we talked about it more, I realized that he really - exclusively - wanted this because it was his fantasy to see me with another man. It was, I think, a combination of him seeing me and having me experience something that would expand our sexual experiences together.

As we moved closer from fantasy to reality, I think it quickly became something we both really were looking forward to experiencing. I was nervous, for sure, and I did have doubts and "pulled back" at times. But still, the fantasy grew in me as well. We never had the stereotypical thoughts of a "black stud" or the thoughts of a cuckhold. Rather, we saw it as someone like us, white (I suppose - although not consciously), educated, upper-middle, surburban, fit, good-looking. It was a fantasy that grew in me the more we played with the idea in public and in private.

I remember wondering what it would be like to have another man kiss me, touch me and have sex with while And watched or participated. It became a really hot thought to have two men fully focused on me. That thought alone was good for quite a number of solo sessions with my toys...LOL...and many sexy times during our intimate evenings together.

Now that we've shared that experience a number of times, albeit with only two men (not at the same time! LOL) to date, it has become something that we truly share together. I can't stress enough the idea that you have to find someone that you are comfortable with and that makes you feel comfortable. Both our lovers are just that, in different ways for sure, but they are very nice men, good-looking, respectful of our relationship and understand their role.

Is it a BIG part of our lives? No, it is not the biggest part. The part that we share - just the two of us - or even more so, our family is the biggest part of our lives. Is is something that without we would be empty? Far from it. I am sure we would have a happy marriage regardless of this play. But, I can say, it certain it makes the hotter times even hotter. It's something I think that, with the proper communication, trust and respect and love of your husband, you will certainly come to enjoy and desire as much, if not more, than he.

Recent email from an inspired, hotwife seeking man

I received what I thought was a very thoughtful response via email recently. I wanted to post it here, while removing anything that might be seen as identifying the man that sent this to us as it was so moving to know how we've impacted someone. I appreciate these letters so much because, for so long now, we've put our heart and soul into this blog. It's nice to know it has had an impact on some of you. Here is the response that I so loved:

I found your blog by mere chance while I was surfing from one site to another. I started to read a few words not really paying much attention. As I moved on through your entries, I became more and more attracted to the wonderful way of you were telling your story. I came to really appreciate the way you wrote with such honesty, feelings, awesome sincerity.

I decided to start from your beginning and I cannot go one day without reading some of your entries ( I am now at March 2007). As I was reading them, I felt like I have known you for a long time as best friends. My congratulations to you, my respect and my admiration are yours. I can see that you have a fantastic relationship. It is really wonderful that you have such an open and honest relationship.

I have been happily married for more than 2o years and I have a wonderful family and wife. I have recently started to share some of my fantasies with my wife. Bit-by-bit, our discussions have grown deeper.

You have definitely inspired me to start talking about the possibility of a hotwife lifestyle with my wife. In fact, thinking about your experience and the growth in your relationship, I am now realizing that I am be more interested in an MFM experience, or my wife dating other men, than me having any sexual relationship with another woman (or an FMF experience). Before reading your blog, I would have thought it weird to have such thoughts but, thanks to you, I now know it is not. Your way of telling it is so sweet, open, sincere and exciting!! I am always turned on when I read your stories. Thank you so much for teaching me and, certainly, many couples so many things about sex and an open and honest couple's relationship.

I hope to be brave enough in the near future to talk about your blog to my wife and read it with her. I wish you both all the best and simply wanted to express my great admiration for you both.

Still out here, just busy

We haven't posted nearly as much this summer as we'd like but I wanted to let you know that we are still out here and we are still trying to reply to the many emails we receive from couples and singles in a relationship interested in the idea of introducing another man into their physical relationship.

We've heard from a number of you that have been inspired by our journey thus far. We have heard from more than a few of you that have wanted to share this idea with their spouse and have summoned up the courage to do so through our blog - either sending the link to them in an email and telling them to read (I like this idea) or sharing it with them while surfing the web together (even better!) I do say our journey thus far because it continues each and every day. If it didn't we'd have to be dead! LOL

We have been extremely busy this summer enjoying our family life. And continues to travel for his work so very much but he's enjoying what he does for a living and that means a lot to me. He also provides so well for us and allows us many creature comforts and for that we are extremely blessed and grateful.

I continue to respond to emails and check our ads occasionally for any new and interesting "prospects". We have had some infrequent play time fun with our two friends and met a couple other interesting men in a casual, public setting. For now, it is sincerely satisfying. I am sure we'll find new journeys to take us to new and interesting places but at this point, we are both content with the friends we've made and the men we've introduced into our relationship. Really, they've become friends of sorts - kept at a safe distance, mind you - and we really enjoy sharing conversation as much as the adult fun we have with them. Both our current male "thirds" are very genuine, sincere, intelligent guys and for that I appreciate where we are with them. Will they ever become more? No. And and me have a relationship stronger than ever and they've simply enhanced all that we have. They understand and respect their "role" and seem to also be content with what we have and what we will not have.

So, we'll keep posting and perhaps share some of our fun times on occasion. Summer is quickly coming toward the school year. As the girls get back to it, and I find more time, I am sure we will write more. For now, just know we are still alive, still together and still experiencing all our fantasies and making realities out of this path we've chosen.