Tuesday, January 24, 2012

How we Differentiate a Hotwife Relationship from a Cuckold one?

A hotwife relationship can begin - and subsequently develop - in many different ways. Sometimes it begins as a hotwife fantasy fulfilled but evolves into more of a cuckold and/or femdom relationship. Other times it may begin as a cuckold and develop into a hotwife. Still others may have elements and encounters that meet each definition. Each relationship evolves with it own twists, turns, spins, and sexual flavors and is individually reflective of the various interests, motivations, needs, desires, fetishes, passions, characters, and personalities of the individuals involved. Just like fingerprints, no two hotwife relationships looks the same. The lines are a bit fuzzy and for each there is a differing definition of what constitutes a cuckold and what is a hotwife. Here is ours and why we consider it more of a hotwife versus a cuck life.

A hotwife relationship can start in many ways. Sometimes it’s the wife’s idea. Sometimes it’s the husband’s. Other times it’s spontaneous, unplanned, and just seems to evolve through hints, feedback and further fantasy discussion. That is how it began for us. Some women, whose husbands suggest experimenting with the lifestyle, initially might find the concept repulsive or 'immoral'. Other women immediately embrace the idea. Many women slowly warm to the notion, dip their toe in the pool cautiously. This is how our lifestyle choice evolved.

Some women may have feelings of nervousness, apprehension, fear and or guilt about their first experience while others gain confidence and become more self-assured...a confident MILF. I know Rach had feelings of each early on. This is the way we believe it is for many women. The first experience has many mixed emotions...a little guilt, genuine concern about their husband’s feelings, tempered by powerful memories of how incredible the sex was.

Interestingly, the feelings a man might feel are much the same and these may, I believe, more so define whether the relationship is a hotwife one or evolves into a cuckold relationship. Many men have some feelings - however minor - of “cuckold angst”. They may experience feelings...of varying intensity... of guilt, inferiority or insecure. However, many find that, after this initial feeling, these feelings go away and they are replaced by an even stronger desire to do it again. Some husbands find the idea of their wife fucking other men to be intensely erotic (hotwife) but remain confident in her activities, while others may express feelings of sudden 'inferiority' about it and are aroused by such a reaction (cuckold). Some men are excited and exhilarated by the idea of having to share their wife’s pussy with other men (hotwife) while others may continue to have torn feelings about it, are deeply humiliated by the experience yet yearn for the experience again (cuckold). Some men get an instant rock-hard erection just thinking about their wife coming home with a wet, used pussy while other men experience nauseating feelings about it (what here is the differences between a hotwife and a cuckold? It's certainly a different mix for each man). Some men want their wives to be able to experience sexual delights and pleasures that they can’t possibly give her for the simple sake of allowing her new experiences while other men feel 'obligated' by the opinion (or fact, in their mind) that they can’t compete against the stronger, more well-endowed, virile men their wife typically chooses(cuckold).

Keep in mind, what we've written is how WE define the differences between a hotwife and cuckold relationship. For us, there are still elements of both that occur and, I am guessing, many have similar feelings of both. However, we call this a 'hotwife' life choice we've made because we share in these experiences, there are only slight, acute feelings of 'angst' (followed by reinforcement) and we typically experience these encounters together or communicate fully before and after. I suppose one could argue that we've 'evolved' into more of a femdom relationship since Rach has now taken more of a lead role in finding lovers, is free to explore with or without my presence and is allowed to talk, meet and share with them without my knowledge, 'supervision, or approval. Still, she does share, asks my opinion (and values it) and gives me unconditional 'veto' power over any encounter. Ultimately, too, Rach is a submissive and, in our experimentation with bondage, spanking and domination, she unequivocally falls into the submissive role. So, for our definition, we'll continue to call ourselves lovers of MFM and explorers in the Hotwife life.


NaughtyAnna said...

Thank you for taking the time to describe in detail for us your relationship. I have always wondered what a "cuckold" really was...it seemed like it was part us and not part us--the humiliation part. Thank you for much needed understanding and insight!

Anna XO

AHubbyof2SexualMinds said...

Great way of describing how you view hotwife versus cuckold. I've been slowly introducing this to my wife, and she's had questions like this. I'm going to show her this post, because it's really close to my thought process as well. Thanks.

candrews0480 said...

This is a wonderful description of hotwife vs. cuckold! I have often had issues with the idea of being a cuck and it is refreshing to read your take on it. My wife has the freedom to do as she pleases much like yours and I have never been able to find a parallel between the cuck mentality. I am not humiliated nor am I a poor lover. She enjoys being with other lovers but very much enjoys making love to me as well. It's nice to see there are others out there like us too.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your views!

OCTristan said...

Not sure what value there is in labeling everything. The core of all of them is the same-getting another man's cock into your wife. The label is really just the avenue taken to get there. They are all fun to travel!

John said...

Interesting to read your thoughts, even if the experience differs for everyone. Thanks for sharing.

Vanessa Chaland said...

Interesting perspective. I just sort of break it down as Hotwife equals the "wife watching" or swinging type of crowd and cuckolding is more related to the FemDom personality type, of which I am the latter. It is interesting to me also that the female half is more submissive in other regards as opposed to being fully dominant over the male half.